


voices aren't tangible, babe. but i am.

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Also sort of canonverse for Levi, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-10
Updated: 2015-07-10
Packaged: 2018-04-08 16:46:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4312689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>I learned of the legend the day I turned sixteen.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>—when I realized that I was painfully in love with the voice in my head.</em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	voices aren't tangible, babe. but i am.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I thought of this idea at some point. I think it was like 1 AM. Anyways, that's beside the point. This is essentially writing practice for me in 1st person, because I am complete and utter shit at that POV, and I'm working on a multichap in it, and yeah. So please, bear with me. I feel like this turned out at least semi-alright if you can ignore all of it.

I'd been hearing his voice since I was small—a whisper at first, telling me it'd be alright, that the world was my friend—moving throughout my head and swirling across my subconscious like a wisp of smoke turned to a raging wildfire over time, never to leave me. 

I began to trust him, this voice, responding—murmuring in a nearly inaudible tone to my ceiling that had been covered in galaxies upon galaxies of burning constellations, glowing with the faint light of stick-on stars. 

_I hope your day went well._

And I would respond, my heart hammering in my ribcage for some undescribable, inexplicably insane reason—that I was unsure of the words for at the time. 

"It did."

I figure he'd have smiled, then. 

And I'd have had my grin—two front teeth missing, wishing for them back on Christmas—to match.

* * *

I learned of the legend the day I turned sixteen.

—when I realized that I was painfully in love with the voice in my head. 

And my mother wrapped her arms around my shoulders, pulling me close—saying that she was _so sorry._

If your soulmate is born to a different time period, it is believed their voice is heard from birth till death. Or at least, till their's. 

It's a curse—never to be born to the same world. 

As she clasped my hands in her iron grip—attempting to shield me from the reality despite _his_ voice whispering reassurances that plagued me worse than any ailment ever could—I was aware of what it meant to fall, to die.

* * *

It was nearing midnight—no light streaming in through my bedroom window. 

"It's my sixteenth birthday; you could at least tell me about yourself." 

The galaxy upon my ceiling was dim—mocking me for the dull ache in my chest. 

But then his voice was there—smooth, moving through my head like running water—a cadence I'd come to love, and could not find myself sleeping without—nurturing the garden's infestation within my heart. 

I ached for a wholly different reason, then. 

_What do you want to know?_

"Everything, Levi."

And he'd laughed. I wouldn't even notice that my lips had curled up at the corners. 

"Where are you? What time do you live in? Who are you, to others, that is?"

_One question at a time, Eren._

I could picture his face of paled pigment—feel his cheek against my palm, the chapped skin of his lower lip beneath the pad of my thumb—if I only just closed my eyes. 

He was beautiful. 

"Please."

An exhale, and I knew the ghost of an arm around me—breath on my neck as his lips moved in the formation of words. 

At least, that's what I convinced myself. 

_I'm a military man, you could say._

And he laughed at that sentiment—his ghost's breath fanning out across my skin, sunlight peering through the clouds.

Flowers pushed from the dirt across my ribs, just to taste the warmth. 

_I'm not a good person, though I try to be. I kill in the name of a cause I'm not sure I believe in any longer._

I wanted to tell him that it was okay, so I did. 

I wished to hold him—offer the most minimal form of comfort, yet I couldn't. 

That was worse than any thorn to my side, pushing themselves upright from the roses spread throughout my chest. 

_Captain Levi, they say—Humanity's Strongest soldier. The burden I have to bear. There's a war of life and limb, here, and that's all I wish to divulge, Eren._

I frowned, then. Despite his forced laughter against my neck—hand gripping air as opposed to light fabric of his shirt, I knew it to be true. 

_Don't worry. I'll be fine._

Though I nodded in agreement—flowers wilted, and the sunlight began to recede behind dark clouds of grey—damp weeds growing, wrapping around my ribs, hoping to be roses once-more.

* * *

_Go out, have fun. Fall in love._

"I am in love."

_Yeah, Eren. With the voice inside your head._

"Don't chastise me."

_I wasn't. I was like you when I was living, after all—hearing you, loving you, always wishing to be with you. But your voice was so bright. I couldn't help but feel guilty._

"What?"

_I don't believe I can ever be the man you expected—the one you made me believe that I was._

"Levi, I—"

_And for that, I am sorry._

* * *

_I want to touch you._

"I want you to touch me—wish you could, babe."

_I'm sorry._

And the sunlight was no more, pushed farther behind darkening clouds—the weeds strangling my lungs, my ribs, cracking them till I could barely breathe. 

But it was okay.

"Don't be, Levi. It's always your name on my lips."

I could hear his low laughter, crashing into me like breaking waves—rolling out of him as the roaring thunder outside my window, holding me close with marred, porcelain arms I'd always wished were truly there. 

It was a downpour, a cloudburst—and flowers of contentment would bloom with the sound. 

"You'll always have all of me. In my life, and your next." 

His small sigh was merely the calm before the next storm. 

And I would willingly stand in the chilled rain—as long as it was necessary.

* * *

_Eren?_

"Yeah, Levi?"

_I love you._

"I know. I love you too."

* * *

I was twenty-two. 

And so happy. 

It was bright that day. 

But then—

His voice was rasping—sounded nearly choked, asphyxiated by anything but his own breath. 

_Eren, I—_

The flowers were wilting; the weeds dying, falling to the ground atop the deadening soil. There was now a desert spread in my ribcage—as the storm slowed its raging pace, to a melancholy drizzle of hopelessness. 

I knew what was to come would break me. 

_You're not going to be—_

Cracking voice—not like lightning.

_You're not gonna be hearing me much longer._

"Levi, what's—"

_I really wish you were here. It's a beautiful day._

He was coughing—I couldn't see past the rain in my eyes. 

_The sun is really shining, and this meadow isn't so bad._

"So bad, for what?"

I knew, then. I'd hoped I was wrong.

_Will you tell me you love me?_

"I—" The air was thick, as was the smell of petrichor—flowing from my eyes and pouring outward from veins. Flashes of grey eyes, like the clouds overtaking my mind. I knew. I wasn't wrong. "I love you, so much."

_Yeah, I know._

And he laughed again. But it was weak, not like thunder, not like the waves—but was the feel of water lapping over the edges, gently caressing my skin for the final time. 

_I've lived every day knowing that. And I felt the same._

I couldn't see. The clouds were too much to stand as my legs gave way from beneath me.

I was falling. 

_Now I'm going to die in this meadow, Eren—laying on grass the same shade of what I'd imagined your eyes to be._

"Stop saying that—"

His voice was a whisper as I'd first heard it. 

There was a gasping breath. 

_Be happy, kid._

The roses' thorns turned to steel. 

And I knew my curse.

* * *

* * *

* * *

He'd been hearing the boy with eyes like faded leaves, and dark grass of the meadow far too long.

_I'm Eren._

"Levi."

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading, yo. Lemme know what ya think. ((:


End file.
